I
was at work today and a co-worker asked "what do I do when I just don't
want to be around someone? I just don't like him like that." The
other guy in the room and myself both replied "just tell him." Her
response, "No, that would be mean…he's a nice guy and I was hoping he
would just get the hint."
FUCK
THAT…please, just tell the dude. I feel that if one more woman gets this
message the world will be a better place. But real talk, any sane respectable
guy would much rather you tell him up front that you don't like him in a
romantic way than for him to keep assuming that you feelin him. If you keep in
contact with the dude and don't tell him otherwise, he is gonna think that you
like him…at least a lil. So he is going to act as such.
The
longer you wait to tell him, the madder he's gonna be when he finds out. By
this point we are all grown ass men (or at least should be), and we know that
rejection is a part of life and are ready to accept it. But by allowing us to
continue to think that we're wanted when we're not is not doing us a favor,
it's not being "nice." It's a waste of our time, money, and energy.
Yes, we may be a lil upset and hurt regardless of when you reject us, but it's
better to do it when u just a name and cute face than when you become…a
feeling.
Of
course there are other ways of letting a dude know you don't like him. You can
just not answer the phone, and if he's got any sense at all he'll get the hint.
But then you have to worry about what happens when you run into them later.
When do you run into him, don't tell him you were gonna call but were too busy,
or that you meant to call back, etc….those are those rays of hope. If ol dude
really likes you then he's gonna take those rays as a hint to keep trying.
BLACKEN THEM FUCKERS OUT. Leave no room for error. If you choose this method
it's almost guaranteed that you all won't remain friends if you blow him off
real shady like that. Better to be grown about yours. He'll have better respect
for you in the end, but do what you gotta do.
In
the chance that the dude is cool, and you want to be friends…no returning calls
definitely aint the way to go. Just tell him, and if he's up to handling the
challenge of just being friends, then so be it. Some guys and girls can be
friends. But if he decides to stop calling then let him do so and just return
to those "speaking in passing sort of friends." You don't want him,
so don't be upset if he chooses to cut his loses and move on. That's his
choice. Don't be saying he acting funny, being shady, etc. U didn't want him so
don't be upset when you loose all the attention.
Taking
gifts from a dude you don't like is a serious offense. If you're allowing him
to wine and dine you then he's gonna assume that things are working in his
favor and will expect some sort of return on his investment. Not necessarily
sex, but more personal time, calls, visits, etc….but for some, yeah….they'll be
lookin for some cut. Aint no body tryin
to pay for dinner and a movie for they friends. If you're taking these things
he's gonna be even madder when he finds out the truth. Now, if you told the
dude, in plain English that you do not want him, and he continues to spend his
time and money on you….then I can't even fault you for taking them. He's just
dumb like that. I've been there...and in hindsight, I've been dumb like that.
Now
you CANNOT tell a dude you don't like him but continue to call everyday, flirt,
etc. Those are some serious mixed signals and actions speak louder than words,
so we're gonna go with what we wanna believe.
Last
but not least, if you're gonna make assumptions, assume he don't want to be
friends. Assume he wants to be more than that. Aint no body still tryin to make
"friends" no more. I mean real friends, platonic ones. I hate when
girls be like, "I aint know he wanted to talk to me, I just thought we was
cool." FUCK THAT TOO…aint nobody approaching
women to just be friends no more. Sometimes you end up being friends, good
ones…but nine times out of ten that was not the original intent.
Disclaimer:
These are not blanket explanations for everything but I hope you learned
something. In fact I am sure you can think of a thousand exceptions, and
excuses and that's cool too. Shit, this is mostly for entertainment so don't
take everything as law. Treat each situation with your own personal judgment.
The opinions expressed above are those solely of THE, but a lot of people seem
to agree.
