Part 1B: How Not to Suck at... Accountability (in Relationships)

B.                 …in Relationships

We have got to take some real responsibility in the reason our relationships go the way they do.

Stop. Take a second and grab a pencil & paper. I’ll wait.

List all your past/current strained or failed relationships. I’m talking brothers, sisters, parents, ex-friends and yes, the ex-lovers. Make a column for your name, their name and another for its strained or failed. Now list a few of the potential daters you didn’t give a chance. Again, make a column for your name, their name and why you didn’t give them a real chance. For some of you it may take a while, so stop at about 10 or so. We don’t need a Superhead big font novel here… just a few people that really stick out. The supporting cast to your life.

Stop again, look at the list. I mean really look at it. What’s the common denominator? Whose name appears next to every failed/strained/passed relationship on your list?

I’m sorry, but yes - it’s you. A big part of the reason you’re unhappy, or have strained relationship and/or single is YOU. Take accountability in the fact that the source of your situation is you. Be empowered in that fact so that we can do something about it! It’s not in someone else’s control – It’s in our control! Your happiness is determined in big part by what we allow to affect our lives. Somethings are just not worth our time and effort and we get all worked up about the wrong things.

And as far as romantic relationships go… the reason you’re unhappy or single is staring you in the face every day – and it’s not the just other person fault either. Yes, it’s still you!

At our age, we can’t blame the universe for not providing you a good man or woman. By now someone wanted you and you decided not to be with them. Or maybe you loved someone and they didn’t love you back. Let it go and move on. Or you are with someone and you’re unhappy as it gets.

It may be your pickiness, or what you choose to accept in the relationship, or your preferences are unrealistic or your standards are too high. Either way, it was/is your choice. Be empowered in the fact that it is your choice. Be accountable for your role in your love life and decide to make better choices and refuse to let life bring you down. Stop blaming everyone else, stop taking shit from others, stop thinking you’re not good enough.

Be the main character in your life. Decide to do better and be happy.