Truth About Time

"People make time for the people and things they want to."

It is one of my biggest pet peeves when people say they don't have time to do something. I'm sorry, but I just think that is a lie. The truth is they don't want to make time to do it. It may because they don't want to, or maybe because whatever(whoever) it is isn't high enough on their priority list. Whatever the case, if it was something(someone) important to them they would make time.

When I was in undergrad I was extremely busy. I had school, work, organizations, and "me time" just to keep my sanity. Now I will admit, I have used the "I don't have time" excuse, but I guarantee it was on something that I really just didn't want to do.  If there was someone I wanted to kick it with I made time for them. It may have been lunch, or meeting me in the library, something small. Or it may have been that they had to wait till the end of the week when everything calmed down. But the point is, I made time and let them know when I had time for them.

See, that's the thing. They may be busy today, or even all this week. But they are not busy for eternity. If you call/text and they are busy at the moment, or they will be busy when u want to do something that is acceptable. But if they wanted to talk or do whatever you wanted to do, they would call back later and give you an alternative time. That simple. At least in my opinion. But I may be wrong.

Now if it is an event that happens only at a specific time on a specific day, then not having time may be a valid excuse. Sometimes things are already planed and can't be moved, and therefore they technically don't have time. But if it is something that can be made to fit someone's schedule then not having time is just a lame excuse.

Chapter 3: Lust

Damn you was sexy when I saw you in the club

Tight lil top, short lil skirt, working that dub.

All in the spot twerking it real good,

Thinking to myself all the things that I would

Do to you if I got you back to home,

You and me and that baby making music alone.

So I got up on ya and grabbed that ass,

And you bent on over and started dancing real fast

Slow jam came on, you started grinding my dick,

And that’s when u started thinking wit your clit

Cuz you turned to me and said “Baby, what’s up?”

And “I could tell by the look in your eyes you wanna fuck.”

So I said to you “what you doing when the party ends.”

“I don’t even know, I road wit my friends.

But why don’t you let me ride with you?”

And our eyes said the things that our lips wouldn’t do.

Girl, please be quite. Don’t ruin the mood,

Lay sexy on the bed and be my horny food.

Thighs and breasts and lips and legs, and

Give it to me now, don’t make me beg.

This is not a like thing, or a love thing,

This is a fuck me now fuck me good, lust game.

Game to see who can make who cum first,

Game to see who’s face looks worst

When they reach the climax and let out a scream

And cover the other in that sticky white cream.

So let’s play to see if you will call out my name

And I bet you head I wont do the same.

Now stop all this talking and lay on the bed,

So I can come up between those legs wide spread

I grind your body as you grind mine,

And stroke after stroke, with our legs intertwined.

And stroke after stroke I go a lil deeper,

And stroke after stroke you get a lil weaker

The innermost parts of our bodies touching….

This shit aint worth finishing, it’s just fucking.

Truths about Life

Through my various conversations I have come to realize that there are certain truths about people and they way they interact with each other. I guess these would be life's equivalent to the Laws of Thermodynamics or Newton's Laws of Motion (remember I am an engineer), meaning these are basic fundamental concepts that can be used to explain why people say/do the things they do. These are the ones I have come across; please fell free to suggest others:

            "People make time for the people and things they want to."

            "We remember to do the things we want to remember."

            "People don't always have a right for everything they do, but they do have a reason."

            "It's not that people are not able to commit, they just are not willing to commit to you."

            "If someone loves you, nothing can keep them away; if they don't, nothing can make them stay."

I think that if people applied these truths to most situations they can save themselves a lot of stress and sleepless nights because they will at least understand why things are the way they are.

I kind of think the 2^nd one falls under the 1^st one, and I may have misquoted the last one. Please give me your thoughts/opinions. I plan to write on each of these "truths" in the following days.

You Just Know

I was having one of talks with a friend of mine. This is new scenario: she met this dude this is interested in making her is girlfriend, but she doesn't like him in that way. She admits that he is a good dude and there is no reason she shouldn't like him, but she doesn't. It's almost like she has tried to force herself to like him and it hasn't worked. So now it's to the point where she has pretty much been punked into a relationship with this guy, and as soon as she told me about it my response was "You don't even like this man." And now she has to tell all her other "friends" to back off, etc.

Her question to me was "why don't I like this guy? And when will I know when I like someone enough?" I told her I don't know.

I mean, why do we like the people we like? And why don't we like the people that we should? I could name scenario after scenario of couples that would have made sense but never happened. Shit, I can name a hand full of girls that would make good girlfriends, but I don't like on that level, at least not yet… and I can name a time when I was ready to give a title to someone that doesn't even fit my type.

So we continued our conversation a while longer and the only real answer I could give her was that "you just know." It takes me a while to get to the point that I want to make someone my girl but with every girl I was interested in enough to be exclusive with there was a gradual progression to the point where I was willing and ready to give up everyone else I was talking to for them. I was willing to give them the world and want noting in return. They didn't have to ask me to do it. It wasn't even a conscious effort. It was like as I gained interest in her, I lost interest in everyone else.

The people I really like become an idea, a feeling. When I think of them I don't picture there face, or how they look naked, or how good the sex was… it's a feeling I get when I think of them throughout the day. My heart gets heavy when I think about the next time I'll see them. 

You can't make yourself like someone. You can spend time with them, tell them u love them, buy them things, have sex with them, have sex with them, etc…but at the end of the day, it happens or it doesn't. And when it does, you just know.

Another Weird Dream

This time I was in one of the engineering buildings on my way to class but the way was blocked because of some construction. It was like they were tearing up the stairs to use the space under them for storage. But any, the walkway was blocked so I had to try to maneuver my way through it. I was at the other end when I bumped into this tall wobbly thing that started to lean when I hit it. So I had to grad it so it didn't fall into anything and other people rushed over to help.

After that I continue on the other side of the building but I guess class is cancelled because I start thinking I need to go back to the other side of the building. I can't go the way I came since I just made a fool of myself. So I proceed to walk up some sketchy stairs and when I get to the top the bridge (why a bridge and not a floor? I have no clue.) is missing panels in the bottom and all these people (some of which I know, but hadn't seen in forever) rush over to tell me that I can't walk across the bridge because the university will sue. So I come down and still can't get back.

I'm talking with the people about how I am going to get back and two of the professors come out and talk about how the got through the building, but that I can't do that because I don't know what I'm doing. At this point I remember thinking "why don't I just walk outside, and walk back in on that side of the building?" I must have taken my own advice because the next thing I know I am outside in front of the frat house but I am missing my book bag and all these kids are outside to take school photos or something.

So I am looking for the bag and one group of kids and another comes and I realize the pile of stuff near the stairs is not their book bags as I had thought before. It is ALL my shit!!! I mean book bag (with all the contents emptied out), keys, clothes, and the whole nine… So, at this point I am missed and wanna fight. I turn around and there is this hockey team in full uniforms behind me…we start fighting…but there are using their hockey stick and I am like a 3^rd degree black belt. I mean we go at it like a scene from Power Rangers… the end.

Weird Dream

I rarely dream...well, I rarely remember them.

So it's morning time and I am running late for class, a literature class at that (which I hadn't taken since high school.)  I was late because I could decide what to wear (odd) and I didn't care about being late because I was just sitting in the class and I didn't like the book. (So why was I in the class in the first place?) So this outfit I was tryin to figure out. Get this. It was a red, turquoise, and yellow shirt and some silver shoes with yellow and turquoise in them and I was tryin to decide whether I should wear jeans with or without a read stripe.

I had on the ones with the stripe and my mom said I should wear the other ones. She was like "let's go to the movies" so I just took the pants wit me and we went to the theater. We are sitting in the movies and random friends that I hadn't talked to in a min start blowing up my phone and I remember thinking "how is their name showing up, I lost all the numbers out of my old phone?" So I am sitting in the theater and decide to change my jeans. As I am pulling up the new jeans this man next to me (I am sitting on the end, he is right next to me, don't know where mom is) drops these two key rings on the floor. I reach out in the aisle (pants half up my thigh) and pick up the key rings, so of course I hear snickers from people seeing me bent over wit my pants down (weird). I had the man his stuff and he drops one of them again….I leave that shit down there.

So I am not really paying attention to the movie and then the lights come on and lil kids are running all over the place screaming. I decide this is a good opportunity to get free movie passes since this one got ruined. Somehow I communicate this to mom (telepathy maybe?) and I walk out the theater. I walk pass the counter and the line is too long so I look for mom then remember I left my jeans in my seat. I walk back in to get them and one my frat brothers is at the seat looking at the jeans. He asks me "you just get finish fucking?"

"Hell no."

"Why not?" – typical response from this dude.

I go back out to find mom, but I can't…the end.

Losing Hope

I am in college, so I have seen and heard about more than my fair share of lying, cheating, sleeping around, backstabbing – deception in general. But as long as I can remember there have been a select few women that kept my hope alive. I mean these girls are beautiful, intelligent, well spoken, well rounded and I thought faithful to their boyfriends. I mean these girls were nearly ideal in my opinion.

As a general rule, I try not to talk to females in relationships. It's a lose-lose situation in the long run. Either we kick it and I start liking them but "they got a man" or they start liking me back – and that's gonna lead to cheating. So from that point on I'd have a lil distrust for them. I mean if they cheated with me when they had a man, if we were to start something, I'd always wonder if they were cheating on me with the next dude. It would take A LOT for me to take them serious. So on top of the regular repercussions, talking to one of these "hope girls" would just RUIN the image… so I never even tried.

Here's the sad part: In recent months, more and more of this image has been shattered. I had hoped among all the cheating, sleeping around, and deception that they were a few that had some good sense. They gave me hope that when I FINALLY decided to be in a relationship that I could have a girl on this level and not have to worry about what they were doing. I mean I could actually TRUST her. But here I come to find out that some of these girls are cheating TOO. I know you can't believe everything you hear, but I got some pretty compelling evidence. Alas, I guess everyone's cheating and some people are just better at hiding it.

And where are the friends of these people when they cheating? Because I am sure that someone besides the cheaters knows what's going on. Are the friends like, "go ahead and get that on the side" or "you need to stop before you get caught"? If they pushing you to cheat, are they gonna be there to comfort you when you fuck up a good thing?

But shit, it's so common place to cheat, get caught, and "work it out" that it probably doesn't even matter. People just assume that's part of a relationship these days.

Maybe I'll just stay single, at least then I can just ASSUME they're with someone else when they're not with me. Easier on the heart… no guess work.