Part 5A: How Not to Suck at… Communication (in Life)

It is AMAZING how many situations and issues have communication at its root. Most people think they communicate well… they don’t. A study asked a group if they thought they were in the top 10% of effective communicators. 90% said they were. So at least 80% of those people are completely delusional! While most of us think good communication is sending information, the important part is that the information is received and understood.

A.                 … In Life

Nothing irritates me more than when someone sends me an email expecting me to do something. I am not an email person. I am not checking it all day and I hate checking it from my phone. Emails are for details, updates and tracking. The initial project conversation needs to be a conversation! Hitting the send button in Outlook does not guarantee that

1)      I’ve seen your email (both my personal and work emails stay flooded).

2)      I can do what you are requesting or

3)      I am actively working on it

I hate when I sit in a meeting and someone says that told my group something only to find out that they hit send on an email. That’s not telling! That’s throwing a ball and hoping someone is there to catch it…otherwise the ball gets dropped!

I know I am not an email person, but apparently other people are. So for me not to suck at communicating I do things I don’t like. I check emails from my phone and when I get an email asking me to do something I initiate the conversation to get a better understanding. Now that I have a team of people working for me, I try to communicate in ways they receive the information. I follow up emails with phone calls or face to face conversations. I provide feedback when questions are asked. I try to compensate and follow-up.

Communicating is meant to do 4 things:

1)      Build trust! It no one believes what you saying, there is no point in saying it. A big part of that trust will be to communicate and do the things you say you will do

2)      Share information. Sharing is giving and receiving. Good communication makes sure that the message is received and understood.

3)      Provide Feedback. Acknowledgement of shared information and requests is key. Working on a project is no good if no one knows you’re working on it. Even worse when it’s assumed that you are working, but you aren’t!

4)      Walk to Talk. Communicate with people how they best receive information and express to them how you need to be reached.

If you’re communicating just to say you did it, then you’re missing the point. We’ve got to communicate so that we actually connect with other person.