I set by and
watched the pain and hurt she went through, the way she was treated, the way
she reacted, the things that were said about her, about them, and the echoes of
the past that still haunt her today – They all make me wish I could change one
instant in history so the effects back
ripple through time so the present may be less torturous for me, for us. I know
her heart ached from his shadow, a shadow that’s shaded her heart and taught
her to be defensive against us all. Arrogantly I thought my warmth, my onesty,
my compassion, my hand were what was needed to free her heart from its lonely
cell. She was part of my daily thoughts, and I made sure it was known. I filled
pages with confessions of how I felt inside. I put my heart on the line in
hopes of gaining hers. I wanted her to know she didn’t have to defend herself
against me. Yet, you never called unless I called first, never wrote unless I’d
written the first line. I just couldn’t understand why until I realized I’d missed
the silent hints. Those hidden among smiles and flirtation Now the daily thoughts are part of the constant
struggle not to call, not to write, waiting for her to make the first move.
Until then I take my place in nothingness deemed the friend zone. Now, like
always the written word has been my method of expression, and this is my letter
of truth, emotion, and letting go.
