Unacceptable Behavior

Speech & Thoughts    

           “Need some help?” Damn, I cain’t get a thank you, thanks, gracias, smirk, or nothing? She act like I pose to hold the door for her. And then looked at me with the “Get the fuck out my face” face. And I was tryin to help her out. Next time I’ll let her full hands get the door for her damn self...but then I’d be triflin. “You have a nice day.”

           “Mornin Lady” So you do see me uh? That’s aight tho...not like we don’t see each other 3 times a week on the way to class. Everyone don’t want YOU... It was just a friendly “Hello” and nothing more... But you can keep your nose in the air, that big ass head prolly keep you afloat. But it don’t make me no difference, I know the deal.

           

           “What floor ya need? ... How ya doin?” Silence and the “Nigga please” face?!? What da hell! I ain’t want ya name, ya number, or ya nappy roots. I just wanted some casual convo on my way to the top floor. But I guess that’s too much to ask from a self-proclaimed dime piece... Good thing you declared it; cause we sure as hell didn’t. “You aight?”

            “I got a man.”

            What da fuck!?! Oh, I know what this is about... you think that since I opened a door and spoke in public that I tryin to get with you.

            “Excuse me?”

            “I said I got a man.”

            Yeah, that’s what I thought you said... cuz Bitch, you ain’t....naw fuck it.

            “Bitch, you ain’t fine. I don’t want you cause last time I checked I wasn’t attracted to stuck up chicks who think they’re God’s gift to the man, the money, and the muscle and I ain’t worth shit since I ain’t an athlete or a greek. And the lady, yeah... I said lady, I want is better lookin and got her act together. See, that’s the problem. You complain about brothas approaching you all wrong, but when we speak casually you don’t know how to act and think we tryin to each in your panties. But baby, I am here to tell you... we ain’t all like ya last boyfriend, ya trifling daddy, ya girl’s cut buddy, or the dude who’s cheating on his girlfriend with you. Me, I got something about myself and I’mma need you to treat me as such. So next time you see me; it’s ok to speak. Cuz I got my lady friend and you are mere casual convo on my way to the top. This is my floor, excuse me and my unacceptable behavior.

State of Exhaustion

Slowly, my souls nears a state of exhaustion. A state where my heart freezes over and crimson icicles the size of stalagmites drip from its lower bowels and pierce the warm flesh of those who neglected to consider my feelings, and the red fog that rises from the open wound fills my gasping lungs with new breath.

           

A state where the twinkle of my eyes are glazed over by a dark haze that clouds my vision as well as my compassion and my pupils are replaced by a black lazer that cuts a hole through the darkness just narrow enough for a perpetrating eye to see my lack of compassion before its retina is burned out.

            

A state where a dark tongue slivers from my lips and hisses my venomous words with the fury of infections disease that will plague the bitten with the same ache I endure.

            

My soul...it is drowsy; it is worn-out; it is tired; it is fatigued; it is nearing a state of exhaustion. So please, allow my soul to rest, before it eternally sleeps.

Never Be

You don’t want me, it would never work.

I’m not gonna lie, and I tend to flirt

But never cheat and leave you hurt.

Just go on and admit it, I’m not your type.

I’d hold you close, kiss your lips, and treat you right

Listen to your problems and ease your fears through the night.

You can’t date me and I’mma tell you why.

There’s nothing to see when you come to spy,

There’s nothing to catch, cause to you I won’t lie,

And when you call, into your arms I’ll fly.

You want a date filled with TV’s drama.

Cell phone calls from my baby’s momma.

The night ending early, talking about “I’mma call ya”

Yet he says you and yours and his futurama.

IF we were together it’d be a constant battle:

Away from you, I’d be good so your friend can’t tattle,

And on our quite nights alone my phone won’t rattle.

Your used to guys that give you trouble,

They come off one way, then bust your bubble,

Then the relationship comes crashing to rubble,

Soon looking to me, doing a take-double.

But me with you, it wouldn’t last.

I’d be open, telling most my past.

Around my boys never put you on blast.

And we’re together, you’d be first, I’d be last.

You couldn’t take the treatment I’d give to you,

And the nights I’d spend just holding you,

Cause you are the one that keeps my skies blue.

Imagine Me

Imagine yourself a young black male,

Intelligent, athletic,

And an attitude to always prevail.

Five foot seven, nice to look at,

Alright with the ladies,

With a good mind, on top of all that.

Now most people would think his life is great,

Just coast through life, relax,

Enjoy your time here and become your fate.

You can’t imagine the burden I bare,

The stress that pulls at every soul so rare.

The weight of a thousand soldiers

Comes down upon my shoulders.

All the many people who’ve paved my way

Watch me with hope, that I’ll be their pay.

Yet, I didn’t ask to be the hope for the future,

I just did what I do, living my life, my adventure.

Those piercing eyes that watch so close,

Some so I can fail, others so they can boast.

You thought the Trade came tumbling down,

Imagine my anxiety with exam time comes around.

How easy it would be to be like the rest,

Enjoy my time, stop worrying about the test.

But those souls tell me I must succeed,

To continue their fight, to strengthen their breed.

So many eyes fault the “luck” I’ve had,

Waiting for my mistake so they can brag

About how they knew I was never a threat

And they’ll leave me be and soon regret

That I wasn’t playing, and flip the script,

And take their jobs, money, and long vacation trips.