I Understand

...why you ignore my messages when I express to you how I really feel deep down on the inside, where I keep all the things that I tell only the chosen few. Why you just don't respond the times I need you to respond the most. It's like those pure, raw emotions catch you off guard and you just don't know what to do. Your first instinct is to sigh, shake your head, and do nothing. So another comes with more emotion, more feeling, more of everything that I wish you had for me.

Now I understand, because I do it too, and have done it before, but will try not to again. And didn't realize how it feels to be on this side and see what it does on the other.

I do it, except not to you. To another that wants me the way I want you and I laugh at the irony. It's ironic that you could have me, I could have her but we both seek that that's unobtainable. I realize that as close as we are, as much as we share, no matter how many of my hearts lyrics I put in word that it's easier for you to ignore them than to sing in love's harmony.

Easier to ignore than to respond and when confronted you say "I just don't know what to say." I say tell the truth and let my heart ache for a day than strain for the unreachable for a lifetime.

So maybe I'll look behind me and give her that energy that you reject. I'll concentrate on her the way I did you, then maybe my eyes will have strength enough to see in her more than just a friend. Maybe you'll look back too, but it doesn't even matter because at least now I understand.