Another Again? DAMN!!!

John Legend has a track called Another Again (#12) on his new CD. It's about him and her trying to make it work but they are STUCK in an endless cycle, and he knows that in the end it will just be Another Again…

Ok, so just in the last 24 hours I have seen 2 of my friends getting ready to get caught back up in the same cycle with their EX, and the only question I have for them is WHY? This is the common scenario. Something happens (cheating, fight, lying, outside influences), they break up, stop communicating, start talking again, have sex, try to work it out, and then start all over again. Sound familiar? I know all of you know SOMEONE that has been through, or is going through this same thing.

I just don't understand. I mean both of these girls have been in this cycle FOR YEARS. I understand the thought of feeling like you've invested TOO MUCH and want to see it out…but 2-3 years later is time to cut your losses and move on. Back then they were complaining about the investment, but years later? That is time you could have been investing in someone worth your presence.

Ok, so maybe I do know WHY they keep going in circles….but I still don't understand. I've seen this many times... Sometimes it's because they love their significant other, but they're just using them for sex; sometimes it's just for sex (people got their needs); sometimes it's because this significant other is the ONLY thing they know and they literally feel LOST without them.

I understand every relationship (friendship-> marriage) has its cycles of up and downs. But there should be more ups than downs, right? U shouldn't be crying yourself to sleep and thinking about doing yourself or someone else bodily harm. Even after the worst fight EVER, you shouldn't feel like SHIT. AND even if u don't talk for 2 weeks-2 months you should know that you can and will be ok without them, that you are a COMPLETE person on your own.

Ok, so I have been in a cycle. I was. I think I was the cause of the cycle, she was not the type to initiate ANYTHING. It wasn't over sex, or cheating, or anything like that. I think my cycle was powered by the unknown. Both of us wanting to date again, but wanting to keep the other in our corner. We had our periods of on again, off again till one day I asked if we were better together or apart. She said it wasn't a question of better, but easier. She was kinda implying that it was emotionally taxing. Understandable, right? So that day I made a silent promise to end the cycle. And I think it's best I did, otherwise the cycle might have killed our friendship. Something much too valuable. So, if someone cares for you like I cared for her, shouldn't they do they same thing and let you go? If they know that it is UNHEALTHY, shouldn't they care enough for your happiness to let u go?